don't bite the apple…work is not a fairy tale!

In a Land not so far away there was a job opening in the Kingdom…The King directed his Human Resource Queen to ask the applicant’s Facebook account passwords. “I am in charge here and I want to know what kind of people I’m hiring!” pronounced the King. Great idea, it’s like an instant background check. Hold on a minute your Highness! How many laws could you accidentally break by having this information?!?!

Ask any 10 people their opinion of Social Media and you’ll get 10 different answers. Exciting, fresh, invasive, scary, voyeuristic and just plain too much! Each day I see something new (OMG, have you seen Pinterest?) and get excited, then overwhelmed. Before I hit the “YOU AGREE TO GIVE YOUR FIRST BORN AND ALL OF YOUR INFORMATION TO GET OUR FREE SERVICE” I panic and deep breathe to decide if it’s worth it. I tell everyone I know; once it’s out there you can’t get it back.

In the world of HR, Social Media has been kind of a heaven for background checking secretly. People are so afraid of being sued that you get one word answers when you call to check a previous employer. Let’s face it; applicants only put the good references down anyway. So does it hurt to take a peek? Maybe. Now it seems like we don’t peek, we demand it all. Sign here and give me your user name and password. If you have nothing to hide, what’s the difference?

This is new and employers are jumping in feet first. Please, let me stop you. At least let me help you think about loosing the Kingdom to a discrimination lawsuit.

If you view me on Facebook you will see nothing unless you are my friend. Not because I’m out there living a crazy life, but because I use Facebook to communicate with family, there are pictures of my minor son. I don’t friend people I work with or people from high school that I don’t remember. It’s my private place.

If I let you in (or a potential employee does), you would know a lot from my pictures and comments. Where I live, if I’m married and have kids, how old I am, what religion I am, that I volunteer for certain charities, who my friends are, what nationality I am besides American, if I drink and what I drive. I’m sure you could figure out much more about me but I’ll stop there and make my point.

All Human Resource managers know the questions you can’t ask an applicant, someone interviewing for a promotion or an employee. All these can be answered by looking on my Facebook page and more:

• Are you a citizen?
• What religion do you practice?
• Do you belong to a club or social organization?
• How old are you?
• Do you have kids?
• Are you married?
• Do you smoke or drink?
• Any recent illnesses?
• How far is your commute?
• Are you a member of the Reserves?

You may think, “I would never discriminate based on those answers” and that may be true. The point is you aren’t supposed to ask them so you aren’t exposed to those answers. BUT YOU LOGGED INTO THEIR FACEBOOK PAGES!

There is a personal connection in an interview and all things being equal, you hire candidate B. Pretend I’m candidate A, you have found I’m catholic, have a son that I take to a lot of activities, my car broke down twice last month, I have friends with an alternative lifestyle and varied nationalities, I’m over 40, I’m a women, had a back injury this summer and like an occasional beer.

Had you not been exposed to my Facebook profile you could honestly say none of these were factors in the hiring decision. But you’ve opened up Pandora’s Box! You would have to prove it if you were sued. Your Kingdom is in jeopardy!

I heard a story the other day of a young teacher that did not get hired because they looked at her Facebook and there were pictures of her in short shorts and a tank top with a beer. The principal was concerned that parents may find her on Facebook and it may create problems. So they hired a male teacher instead. It makes me wonder, at that school are you not allowed to wear shorts or drink a perfectly legal product on your day off? Upon getting hired would this be in the handbook? If not, it better not be in the interview process. That principal probably had perfect reasons for hiring the male teacher over the young shorts wearing, drinking beer female. But we will never know because he had that information. Does it sound discriminatory to you?

If you are concerned about Facebook and other social media sites, you can write policy to direct your employees. There are some School Districts that instruct teachers to eliminate their pages completely or have them under a different name so they can’t be searched by students or parents.

Other employers have rules about discussing work on their pages or friending customers. Create a policy that makes you comfortable but doesn’t invade someone’s private information.

This is just beginning. Facebook is threatening to sue to protect their user’s privacy. Illinois Lawmaker La Shawn Ford is floating a bill to protect privacy for employees. It’s being rewritten right now with some wording for employers. This is going to take a while to sort out. Don’t move too fast!

We all want the people working in our Kingdom to be upstanding and great hires. Let them show you with work resumes, background checks and interviews (have several, maybe with different members of the team).

The information to which your Kingdom can be exposed may do more harm than good. So slow down Your Highness and think about privacy and why it’s protected.

Click here to the EEOC’s Federal Laws Prohibiting Job Discrimination Questions and Answers.

Tell us what you think in the comments’ section: Do you think employers should ask for and get access to Facebook accounts and passwords?

Last week I wrote about Grace O’Malley and making yourself legendary.

I was talking about it to a friend and I commented on how since I made changes and lost weight people are more receptive towards me and how I thought people held the weight against me. She said, “Do you think maybe it was you?” What?!?! Then I really thought about it….Yes, it was.

I have a lot of people tell me, I can’t move up at work. I can’t find a job. I can’t make the sale. Is it everyone else or could it be you?

What are you projecting to everyone? I can say I was insecure about walking into a room and networking. I was funny and sarcastic but didn’t stand out for sure. So I avoided networking events like the plague. As much as we don’t want to admit, it’s not the weight, the clothes or our resume that holds us back, the truth is that it is us.

Once Upon a time I was about to turn 39 (ugh), I was new on Facebook and checking out all the people from high school. Oh, that cheerleader got fat and that ex-boyfriend, yuck. Then it occurred to me—they are doing the same thing to me. Then I pondered my family health history and decided I needed to be healthy. Having a better Facebook profile picture wouldn’t hurt either.

So I started Weight Watchers and found a Former Chicago Bear to kick my butt into shape. Fast forward a year and a half and 70 pounds gone…What I didn’t realize was how it would change me.

Not just the physical me, but all of me. I don’t have to contemplate if I can do something anymore, only I hold myself back. I can walk into a room at networking events confident and because of that I am more approachable. I introduce myself in a crowd and want to be involved, instead of getting out as fast as I can or making excuses to stay home like I used to. I’m not intimidated to go out there and sell. I feel like a different person. So it wasn’t everyone else holding me back, It was it just me.

There are a lot of people competing for jobs and promotions. I hear so many complain about how they are qualified, if not over qualified and they aren’t getting the job or moving up. Besides the obvious (resume, references and experience) what is the difference between you and the other candidates? First impressions count. What is yours?

Look in the mirror honestly and ask yourself, “What are other people seeing?” If you don’t like what you see, change it.

The benefits will come in so many ways. It might not be weight, but how you present yourself or your attitude. Are you put together, not expensive, just carefully? You also need to ask, “What are people feeling around me?”

Are you the one everyone can’t wait to talk to in the morning? Or, are you the one that they avoid because you are crabby or negative?
Do you slouch in misery or shrink back because you don’t feel confident? You have to command presence at work or in an interview.
When you are talking about your previous company, talk about the great things you accomplished there, not all the reasons you wanted to leave. Think about how you start a conversation.

Don’t be the person that goes straight to the negative. There are negatives around us, but it’s important to show you are the one to focus on the fix and not the problem. Solve not complain!

How would you answer these questions both personally and professionally?

What is your greatest strength? What is your greatest weakness?
How do you evaluate success?
Why should we hire/promote you?
What are your goals for the future?

These are great questions to ask yourself (honestly) and then decide if you would hire/promote yourself. This exercise will help you figure out what changes you need to make to get to the next level, your dream job or your goal. Make a plan to change those things and talk about your successes along the way.

People are impressed by others trying to better themselves. There were times when I was ready to give up and the encouragement of those around me kept me going.

Sometimes it was from the most surprising places. I had employees at client locations comment and encourage me. People will support you along the way, let them. It also gives you an opportunity to show others (your boss, clients and co-workers) you can set a goal and finish it.

There are tons of hurdles we face in life and work. When trying to find the fix, sometimes you have to ask…Is it me? Good Luck!

It’s March and we’ve all given up on resolutions, but we still have goals. Let me know in the comment section WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WANT TO CHANGE OR ACCOMPLISH THIS YEAR? (I want to run a half marathon by February 2013. It’s out there now I have to do it!).

This was also posted On Patch.com